Have you ever got involved with someone who’s got an exclusive circle with his/her family?
Or you are the one who got too much closeness and involvement with your family? Do you wonder why your loved ones, partners, girlfriends or boyfriends or even your own betterhalves drifted away even though you haven’t done anything? That you have already compromised so much into your relationship except for one thing. Are you too close with your family? Or bestfriend? I did once had a client in the past who’s so overdrawn about their break-up and why things ended that way with her ex-partner so bitter and chose someone whom she feels so less of her. When I traveled back and pulled her energy to travel into her past, I saw her tight and exclusive circle with her family. I asked her if she’s too close with her family and how she treats her partner in front of her relatives and how do they treat him. She told me that she usually tags him along with her during the family gathering but there is a certain enclosure that it’s already their tradition to leave “outsiders” out of their family room. Meaning, when it comes to family matters, they are not allowed to share, discuss or disclose any secrets to them, whether they are married or not. When they were having fights and arguments, she always run back forth to her sister who’s a divorcee—twice in a row and had two kids from different men. Asking advice from someone who’s already delusional about her past anguishes and too bitter about her own life isn’t really a healthy idea. Always remember that misery loves company. When I looked closer, she listened to whatever and everything that her mother and sister were saying, to the extent that she doesn’t have anymore decision of her own—or let’s say she already lost her backbone. Her partner of seven years, felt so outraged and leftout out in the rain dealing with the coldmist of their vanity and his affair started on their fifth year of relationship. Things got even more heated up when he started declining from her family’s expectations and the hurls and burls of their criticisms about them as a “non-configurative icon” and they kept on belting out unhealthy advises to her that she willingly accepted and blatantly applied into her own relationship. Unknowingly, they were already crumbling down and he’s started drifting away from her when he met an ex-girlfriend that he almost married when they were younger. Until their final breakout on their seventh year and the guy just left her a note one morning saying “I’m sorry but I had to go, I love you”. It’s already been two years and she tried to move on by sleeping and dating different men randomly courtesy of her own sister’s great advises to move on that way, leaving her even more jaded and broken. Why do you think that too much closeness affects our own personal relationships? I know that some of you would disagree that family will always be a family, but our own relationships are not actually part of our traditional envelope that encompasses our whole being. Our families are what made us…a part of us but not us. Our families are part of our world and not our world—though don’t get me wrong. Don’t turn your back on your family just because of someone, because it is also essential that, the person who loves us would appreciate and reached out on the people that we love. However, relationship is an exclusive sacred circle whether you’re already married or not. Whatever adjustments that needs to be made and changes that needs to occur, it should only be for both of you and only you should discuss it to yourselves and it shouldn’t leave outside your doors. Friends, family, relatives, mediums and other people will always have their own opinion about your situation, but not all are worth bagging for. Still at the end of the day, only your own thoughts and judgments should matter and not the voices in your head that you’re working as one. What happened to my client just opened up her eyes that her too much closeness to her family poisoned her relationship and she only believed me when she tried to get a closure from her ex whom she did not contacted for a couple of years after they broke up and the truth that she’s been dying to hear for has finally been heard. Her ex-boyfriend finally opened why he left that morning and why he turned his back on her.
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