"ANONG KARAPATAN MONG HINGIN ANG ISANG BAGAY NA IPINAGDAMOT MO? I DESERVE AN EXPLANATION..." I’m sure some of you had already viewed or watched the movie of Toni Gonzaga and Piolo Pascual in Starting all over again movie and Maybe this time of Sarah Geronimo and Coco Martin. The movie was packed with shallow storylines and I guess the writer forgot to apply a little bit of common sense in the story just to make it even gigglish and romantically funny. Is it? In the movie of Piolo and Toni, when the woman was still in college she was head over heels with Piolo who’s her teacher in college. How old was he? And when the latter finally fell in love with the woman’s stalking and it’s time for the man to be a man and asked her to marry him. She suddenly flew to Spain without further adieu leaving the guy dumbfounded, brokenhearted and sniffed her trail for how many years until he stumbled the one who fixed him. When the time comes that they guy is finally free of the shackles from the past, he intentionally hired Toni to be their interior decorator thinking he’s already over her and he’s got nothing to feel or be to guilty of. Why bother contacting someone from the past without any tinge of vengeance to do someone else’s work when you know that once you stumble upon an unfinished business, the bridge will be rebuilt again. This is where it really annoyed me of how low a woman could be just to make up for the past—especially with a man who’s heart she broke to. She really did anything and everything thinking she could still woo him again just like how they begun in the past. But as time evolved, things and people have changed as well and this brought her down to the point of becoming too desperate that there are no other men in the world anymore. I do believe in destiny, but not in a moronic tragedy. The woman made a total fool out of herself by dogging the guy’s footsteps and every wishes just to get the work done and get herself closer to him again. But as they see and work together, something just ignited inside of them. As the viewers expect them to end up together, the story twisted into a closure. Realistically, if there are still feelings for someone aside from the one you’re with… that’s already a betrayal. But why would you make a stand for someone who stood by you in your wreckage times rather than choosing the one who caused your downfall. To be or not to be that’s the question. And what’s worse is that the guy proposed to his girlfriend, leaving the ex hunting for the new perspective. How worth is the second chance? Do you really have to practical to avoid the past that’s been wrong for you or should you make a stand for someone who loves you? " THERE WAS NEVER AN US..." (I still find this grammatically repulsive but I am still researching)
In Sarah’s movie with flirtatious Coco leaves a question unanswered. With brief summer love affair that’s been left hanging for seven years between the two who got stuck and one that had already moved on. It just seems so unfair to the girl whom was left without any goodbye or answer why the guy vanished in thin air and jumped to the ship—because he wasn’t ready yet at that time to take Sarah for good out of her mother’s warning and eventually landed in Italy who consequently received an unexpected inheritance from a rich old Italian vineyard owner. Out of that tragedy he met Ruffa who’s also lovelorn as well over someone who’s wealthy and powerful. Two brokenhearted souls met in a floating paradise that when they got back to the real world, Ruffa tried reshaping Coco to fit into her world which inadvertently is the boss of his long lost love Sarah. The story now suddenly twisted when Ruffa asked Sarah to train and educate the egregiously imbecile man who’s now rich. A little bit of common sense, if you’re someone who’s already rich and sleeping in the bed of $40M, why would you go back to the Philippines as an ignorant man? Shouldn’t you be aiming to be someone who’s well educated and professional? Why not enroll in an international school or hire a personal teacher or trainer to teach you how to be a prominent man in the society? What happened to vineyard? Why did he decided to go with Ruffa on a cruise? What happened to the family of the deceased and his properties? Is $40M all he has? Why Sarah? When she’s been aiming to get her promotions out of a pitiful web teleserye that would be delivered through stickers and emoticons in their sponsor Kakao. And the job of PR? Is to emphasize changes into someone’s personality and taste and even reached down to the extent of being overly personal with her responsibilities and obligations? Really? This story seemed so unfair to the one who suffered the most when the man who did not even bothered looking for her in the first place and sending her letter or email for how many years will just pop out and become her client? Realistically, aren’t you supposed to be mad? Upset? Or would even try to withdraw and pass the account over to someone who’s more willing? Why do you have to get yourself closer into the shards of glasses and sticks and stones to break your bones again? And as for the guy who’s so insensitive over her feelings really have to talk and say I love you in front her. At the end of the story they finally cleared each other’s sides by going back to where they had started and tried to fill up the closure. At the end, when the guy broke up with his manipulative girlfriend he ended up winding again at the girl’s road and tell her that he’s already ready. Wow…really? Right after you broke up with someone and now you realized that other woman whom you broke her heart into pieces and left hanging for seven years is still open for your slot… you would finally realize you’re ready? Does he really deserve her choice? And for seven years there was no one around her? She never had any boyfriend or at least a close friend whom she got closed to and fell for as well? Really… Filipino storylines nowadays… are really shallow and doesn’t have any slight application of common sense.
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Many of us why we signed up here is because of a painful past, bad break-up, lonely, single for long and looking for a potential mate for good. But are we really ready for it? Are we really fit to open up a new chapter of our lives with a new one? For all those people who just gone through a bad break up like me and were here to look for a replacement. Read this first. After the break up, we intend to feel/pretend to be strong that we could move on, forget about that person, be with anyone in any minute, love again or sleep with someone to ease down the pain. I'm sure many of you will play or hear the song of Beyonce's "Irreplaceable". In the 7 stages of break up, most of the people especially when they have a weak mechanism to cope up with the situation, they tend to get stuck in numbers 3/4/5/6 and it takes years for them to get over it. 1. Bluntness/shock 2. In-denial 3. Grief 4. Anger 5. Depression 6. Withdrawal 7. Acceptance Many of us, after the break up we never remembered the bad moments that we've had with the person and keep on blaming ourselves for the drifting--which is not right. Don't self-imprison yourselves in "what might have beens and what could have beens" things happen for a reason and what's meant to be will cross your path once again if it's meant to be in your life no matter what. Do this exercise if you are trying to get over someone. 1. Write down a memory lane from the day you met, until the day you broke up. No shortcuts and lies, write everything that you remember. 2. Afterwards, read it over and over again, try to feel your emotions, how do you feel about it and can you see what went wrong with the picture? We are all born with the intuition and instinct. Write it down as well. 3. Save it and keep it for the meanwhile. 4. Write down a letter...not in a computer but a handwritten letter pour out all your emotions, read it...afterwards when you're ready. Burn it, make sure to burn it in a safe place and stare at the fire and in your mind, picture the emotion and bitterness burning and disappearing the same like the paper turned into ashes and let it disappear in the air. 5. This is not an instant solution to get over someone and it depends if it's you or the person's fault. 6. Don't remove or burn their memories but keep in a shoebox or vault. Keept it for the meanwhile and don't listen to sad songs, instead listen to groovy and happy music. 7. Go out more often, if there are no friends available, walk it off just walk as far as you could and feel the wind, let your body get tired and look around you and let your mind think and wonder about it. 8. Next thing is, go to the park and find a pond. Try feeding the fish and while feeding them, let them take your anguish when they disappear from the surface. Just relax and enjoy your mind while watching the fishes take your feeding. 9. If you know how to swim, swim it off and cry in the middle of it. Shout if you must and float in the water. Feel the tide in your body just don't overdo it and don't drown yourself. You have to fight what you're feeling and it's not yet the end of the world if you lost or someone left you. Trust that things happen for a reason and that person that left you doesn't really deserve you. 10. Open up and go out with your friends, don't date out yet. Take some time to heal and learn to be happy again. Go to the salon and pamper yourself even more, buy clothes and beautify yourself. The biggest damper you could ever give to someone who dumped you is show them how happy you could be without them. Concentrate on your career or take a short course to learn new things and be successful. You will learn when you are ready to love again, don't rebound just for the sake of being with someone and avoid being lonely. It's sad when you don't have anyone, but it's even more devastating to hurt over and over again when you start another relationship and you're not yet ready. Tips for finding the right one We all dream and want someone who could be a perfect match for us.
But what are the clear indications they are really the right one for you? Here are some tips to avoid falling for the wrong one. Please note that this is only for those who is seeking for a long term relationship. 1. When the communication strikes and sparks, obviously you will get hooked to that person and fall intangibly, but... watch out for the red flag signs. How consistent is he/she? 2. A person should be consistent with his/her interests in you, instead of a boosting conversation exercise everyday and would suddenly stop. If that person suddenly pulls a pause from talking to you and will make an excuse that he/she is busy but you could somehow see in his/her whatsapp/viber or whatsoever that he/she is online and is continuously talking to someone else....think twice. 3. Talk online and on skype or video constantly, there are still some people here who are still honest, but most of them online are great pretenders---especially bored men and women. If that person only talks to you on a certain time, day and place... ask him/her to show you around his/her house, watch the ring finger and be observant among his environment. 4. If someone would ask for an online sexual activity, just avoid this person immediately. A strong and healthy connection that would eventually lead into a healthy and long lasting relationship should be built on respect. 5. Be open and frank, if you want to meet someone who's trustworthy, don't be someone else that you're not. 6. Avoid talking about your past if you're looking for a potential partner that would lead down to a marriage. Past is past, not unless that they have some sort of an agreement about properties, kids or something else. If they still share same house and consistently see or sleep with each other, save yourself from a heartache and disappointment. If the person has been in an illicit or clandestine affair, examine first why did he/she committed this kind of relationship and what pushed her/him into it? Is it really over or is it an office affair? Starting a relationship as a love triangle would eventually end up as a triangle as well. 7. That person should at least make an effort to call you, not just through viber, skype or something free... but you will see the sincerity of someone through their effort. Learn to draw the line and observe their actions. A person should also allot a time for you to talk at least before going to bed and if he/she says that she's/he's in love with you, you would actually see and know through the time that they spent with you. 8. Family is a big part of our lives and world but it shouldn't be a decree to our own strength of making such decisions. In my own experience, family and friends are mostly the ones that ruined us, they are always against me or us. It's not easy to melt and convince your partner's family or friends but don't take a step forward into making yourself into the big picture, observe and see what will your partner would do to bridge the gap to make the two of you closer together. If your partner is too coward enough not even to let you talk to any of his/her family and do something to bring your guys closer together---or worse not to introduce you properly and she/he would let everyone fill in the blanks, walk away from this kind of situation as this won't really end in a happy ending. 9. Once you're already in love, you should actually see and feel the dependability and strength of your partner. How is he/she when it comes to finances? Does she/he calculates? does he/she tabulates every cent that you spend and everything should be recorded? How is she/he when it comes to your family? Is he/she willing to help without any bitterness or grievance? There are some people who's really good and nice but when it comes to money, people change. So watch out for this one as this would only break your heart in the end and you would only feel miserable. 10. Has she/he already introduced you to even one of his/her friends? As a partner/girlfriend/boyfriend? or only as a friend? if that person would only introduce you as friends, think carefully as this already indicates a fear of commitment and unpreparedness for a serious relationship. For someone who would profess their love to you, they should be out and proud about it and shout it to the whole world and not just between the two of you. Watch out for more relationship and dating tips! Do you know that cheaters are the number one insecured people? In all relationships there will always be an instance of cheating and betrayal.
What's worse is when someone is already cheating on you are those bitter insults and hurtful words they throw at you. Why? Egocentric people needs stimulation and push-ups. If their ego or pride doesn't receive the same kind of signal that they expect, they feel less or inadequate and they tend to find that measurement somewhere else. The hurtful words or insults are just their childish ways of taking out their angst against you for taking them for granted---not necessarily means you do take them for granted but they are too selfish to only think about themselves and focus on their own being instead of improving on where they lack of. Insecurity doesn't have to be based on looks, gender, money, height or weight. People have psychological issues that most of them aren't really aware of. Like for example, a person who came from a broken family or has a father who's a shameless womanizer would tend to have an affair with married people as well, psychologically it's their way of coping with their trauma and seeing and feeling it themselves how to be in that persons's shoes which eventually is the object of their wrath; or, for those people who loved their partner the most and expect the most and asks more attention from their partner, if they don't get what they want, they would act stubbornly and resort into a revenge and flirt with someone online, outside or wherever to fill in the emptiness they feel on the inside. This kind of person doesn't really know how to address the crisis that they are feeling on the inside and instead act immaturely by cheating. There are also some people who's with someone who's so successful in business or career and they are not. They partners were always busy at work and earning money while they don't. People would cajole them for being less and this would trigger their insecurity. There are also some others who lack in everything and they tried to please and please their partner but to their disappointment, nothing really ever satisfies them. So, they get tired and when someone comes along and gives them a spark of chance, they tend to divert their attention, pivot their feelings and resort into a revenge against their neglecting partner. All in all, right after the drama and euphoria is gone, just like a dream we woke up from it and face the reality no matter how good the dream is. This is where they finally awaken that this is not what they want, that losing their partners or better halves is not what they want but to feel secured, loved and valued. Some people leave their family for their querida or mistress, but karma doesn't stop working, what comes around goes around. What goes up must come down and vice versa. Nature will always fleet its own revenge at its own pace and time. Why do they cheat? It's because of immaturity, selfishness and narrow mindedness. Is there a cure for cheating? Yes there is. Is there a second chance after the cheating. This already depends, how frequent it has happened, what are the consequences of the situation and how deep is your love for that person. Is there a rainbow at the end of the storm? Is it really worth forgiving? It is always worth to forgive, whether you would choose to move on or stay. But don't make it easy for them to win you back because they will just abuse the privilege. Don't be afraid to lose them for good, always remember if they are really sincere in winning you back, they would cross the seas, go up the mountains, walk on fire or glass shards for you. |
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